“OMG! I’m not reading to my baby enough!” “OMG I’m not exclusively breastfeeding!”
“OMG! My baby isn’t gaining enough weight!” “OMG! My baby is gaining too much weight!”
“OMG! My baby is sleeping too much during the day!” “OMG! My baby is not sleeping enough during the day!”
“OMG! We’re not getting outside for walks often enough!” “OMG! We’re doing too much, and baby isn’t getting enough down time!”
“OMG! What if something happens to me!”
“OMG …. OMG … OMG…!!”
How many of us have had similar negative, anxiety-ridden thoughts?
As a busy first-time mum, I find that it’s so easy to get bogged down in the negatives of life.
It’s so easy to fall into the trap of second-guessing your every move and feeling generally insecure and inadequate (read: sh*t!) about what you’re doing, how you’re doing it … your body … your health … the list could go on and on!
And there are so many things, it seems, that can trigger these negative thoughts, which can lead to feelings of insecurity, inadequacy and general anxiety.
Being exhausted and sleep deprived obviously doesn’t help here!
From the 101 (often well-meaning) opinions and (sometimes unsolicited) advice, the plethora of parenting information available on social media (on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook), the countless parenting ‘how-to’books, articles and YouTube videos … It’s an information jungle out there and this can be quite overwhelming!
Add to all that the postpartum hormonal rollercoaster, body image issues (coming to terms with all the changes your body has gone through), any health issues that have cropped up as a result of the pregnancy (looking at your postpartum reflux) … the first few months after giving birth can be tough!
And because it can be such a challenging time for many first-time mums (and dads!), this makes it that much more important to park the negativity and to focus on the positives that this beautiful ride — this new chapter of life — has to offer!
Don’t let those negative thoughts circle and spiral … why should toxicity live rent free in your mind!
attitude of gratitude … your health will thank you!
Focusing on the positives and developing an attitude of gratitude is more than just saying ‘thank you’ or showing appreciation for what you have.
It’s a complete mindset shift, a way of life, that really is the secret to a happier and healthier — and longer — life.
In fact, a new study published in JAMA Psychology from the Harvard Institute for Quantitative Social Science in the USA found that staying grateful and focusing on appreciating the positive aspects of life could help you live longer.
As part of the study, which looked at how gratitude might affect our health, the researchers gave nearly 50,000 participants (older US nurses) questionnaires to assess how often they felt grateful.
The participants were then followed up three years later.
At the three-year mark, the researchers discovered that just over 4600 participants had died and observed that those who scored highly on the gratitude questionnaire were 9% less likely to have died compared to those who score the lowest. This was after accounting for other factors like physical and mental health, demographics and social health.
While more research is needed, this study shows that there seems to be a link between feeling grateful and living longer.
And who doesn’t want to live longer … especially when there are so many wonderful moments to look forward to with raising bub!
You can read the full study here: Gratitude and mortality among older US female nurses.
making gratitude a habit
It’s easy to say we should be grateful, it’s harder to put it into practice.
Especially during those moments — those days and weeks — when baby is fussing and crying … and nothing seems to go right!
So, how exactly do we develop an attitude of gratitude? How exactly do we focus on the positives of life instead of letting the negatives rule?
According to the site, mindful.org “the key to making gratitude a habit is simply taking the time — once a day — to focus on the experience of gratitude”.
It’s about consistently showing appreciation whether you write it down or verbally express it.
Some ways to get started with this, include:
- Start a gratitude journal. List in a physical notebook, everything that you’re grateful for. My Babunia (grandma in Polish) used to do this every day. Hers was a prayer journal in which she would list all the things she was grateful for that she would then pray for.
- Meaningfully saying ‘thank you’ (like you mean it!) rather than letting this form of appreciation become a mindless phrase.
- Write ‘thank you’ or appreciation notes, whether by email or in the form of physical ‘thank you’ notes/cards. Oh, the lost art of writing physical appreciation cards and notes.
- Create a gratitude jar and filling it with notes of appreciation each night (similar to a swear jar but a gratitude jar instead).
- Take a mindful pause each day to appreciation the beauty around you. Take a moment to appreciate baby when changing her nappy or when playing on the mat, for example.
- Celebrate all wins — big and small.
- Turn complaints or negative feedback into a positive learning opportunity. Lean in to the learning opportunity — use it as an opportunity for growth and betterment.
- Start a grateful challenge with your family whereby each person takes a turn each night to say something their grateful for that day.
- Share the love! One of the best ways to appreciate what you’ve got is by helping those around you. By focusing on someone else’s need you stop focusing on your own — a guaranteed way to feel happier and more positive … and grateful!
For more practical tips on developing an ‘attitude of gratitude’, visit: How to practise gratitude.
So, while it’s easy to focus on the negatives, it’s much better for you — your long-term health — to focus on the positives and to appreciate every part of your life and new journey as a mumma!
But like with anything, to make gratitude a habit, consistency is key!
Expressing gratitude and focusing on the positives will become second nature if you take the effort to consistently implement some of the strategies listed above.
Positivity will become a mindset, a way of life and your long-term physical, mental and even social health will, well … thank you!
x G.
editor, journalist, digital content creator with a background in nutrition & dietetics.
Leave a Reply