Imagine this: you’re walking through a busy shopping centre with your child. A stranger approaches, smiles, and starts commenting on their cute outfit or how big they’ve grown since your last post. But here’s the twist —you’ve never met this person before. They only “know” your child because they’ve seen her on your social media.
It’s a scenario I can’t shake from my mind.
While it hasn’t happened to me personally, the thought is unsettling enough to make me re-evaluate how much of my daughter’s life I’ve been sharing online.
And yes, I’ll admit it: I’ve been a bandit for the ol’ social media post.
From constant running and triathlon training/race updates, to travel stories, updates on the weather — OMG! It’s raining in the desert! — and updates on my latest Netflix binge, like for a lot of other people, social media, for me, is a way to stay connected with family and friends.
Social media provides a sense of community, which has been especially helpful throughout our recent overseas travel, when establishing new friendship circles has proven somewhat of a challenge among the ever-travelling expat community.
And, of course, when we found out I was pregnant, we were dying to share the news with loved ones — including, with family and friends on social media.
When Little Miss A was born, it was only natural to continue the updates, sharing her oh-so adorable squishy little face on my private social media accounts for our world to see and share in our bursting love and joy.
So yes, I’ve certainly posted plenty of photos of my daughter throughout her first year of life.
From the cute milestones, her quirky expressions, and all the little moments, I’ve been a super proud mumma sharing with family and friends.
And like most parents, I’ve also wanted to document her life, and social media has made that seem effortless.
It’s been a window into our world, filled with love and joy.
But the more I read and think about … over time, that window has started to feel less like a peek and more like a wide-open door.
PLUS … it’s one thing to share insights into what I’M doing and a whole other ballgame when sharing updates, especially photos, of my growing child.
And so, I decided — together with J — to culminate sharing Little Miss A’s face online with posts about her first birthday.
And her face in particular, because that’s her greatest identifier in terms of who she is.
We thought that her first birthday was a good place to stop — rounding out the first joyous 12 months with a social media celebration of her first birthday, sharing this huge, joyous milestone with family and friends, and with that bringing to an end the posts providing explicit insight into our lives.
social media as a parental norm
Now, before you eye-roll at the potential virtue signalling here, let me be clear — this isn’t a holier-than-thou essay or a critique of parents who choose to share their kids online.
I’m definitely not trying to virtue signal, I promise — I’m all about the “each to their own” concept!
Most of my friends share family updates on social media, and I love seeing their posts. It’s a modern way of staying connected in our increasingly busy lives.
But what works for others doesn’t feel right for me anymore.
For J and me, the decision to go mostly offline with our daughter wasn’t sudden.
It’s been a culmination of quiet realisations and external shifts, including new regulations like Australia’s recent social media ban for children under 16.
That policy, which requires parental consent for kids to use platforms like Instagram or TikTok, made me think twice about our role as parental gatekeepers of our child’s digital identity.
I mean, if my daughter can’t legally have a social media presence until she’s 16, why am I building one for her now?
And let’s be honest, how many of us have breathed a sigh of relief when thinking about how good it was not to have social media when we were teens and young adults! I mean: PHEW!!
what the experts say
Researchers and child safety advocates have been raising alarms about what’s now called “sharenting”— the practice of parents sharing their children’s lives online, for years.
A 2018 Forbes article by tech ethicist Jessica Baron, writes:
“According to the UK report, Barclays has forecast that by 2030 “sharenting” will account for 2/3 of identity fraud, costing hundreds of millions of dollars a year. With just a name, date of birth, and address (easy enough to find in a geotagged birthday party photo on Facebook, for example), bad actors can store this information until a person turns 18 and then begin opening accounts.”
That’s crazy!
Quoting legal scholar and child privacy expert, Dr Stacey Steinberg, Baron, continues:
“Steinberg says that it’s important to give children the right to say no to parental posts about them (including photos, quotes, and descriptions of their accomplishments and challenges). She notes that by age 4, children have a sense of self and have already begun to compare themselves with others. At this age, they benefit from being heard and understood, and thus […]”
So, it’s a balance between sharing updates with distant family and friends, and giving “more thought to what [you] post, [eliminating] unnecessary layers of information like geotagging, and [talking with your] kids as soon as [you’re] able about what’s being put online about them”, writes Baron.
So, basically the issue with “sharenting”, while as parents we might think we have the right to share updates about our little ones, it boils down to the issue of privacy and the underestimation of the potential consequences of oversharing.
Remember: as the work by Steinberg highlights, children’s images and information posted online can be accessed by strangers, misused by bad actors, or even exploited for identity theft.
And, it’s not a secret that once you’ve posted something online, this content is virtually impossible to erase.
Then there’s the darker side: online predators.
A 2024 article by Josh Butler posted on The Guardian states:
“A new report has found parents who share photos of their children online are more likely to be offered cash for sexually explicit images of their kids, with the federal government warning about the dangers of “sharenting”.
The Australian Institute of Criminology (AIC) on Thursday said “sharenting” – publishing information or photos of children online – “may place some children at risk of exploitation and harm”.”
Honestly, bloody YIKES! These aren’t sensationalist fears — they’re real risks.
These insights have hit close to home.
As a parent, I want to protect my daughter, both now and into the future.
And so, J and I have made the call: we’re stepping back from the ol’ “sharenting” trend.
For more insights, visit: Bravehearts.
the safety factor
So, as you may have already guessed, safety was the biggest reason behind our decision.
Sharing photos and updates online, even with privacy settings firmly on, isn’t actually as secure as it seems.
Images can be saved, reshared, or even used in ways that we can’t control.
And sure, some might argue that the risks are minimal — I know I’ve said this before! — but the truth is, it only takes one wrong person or one bad situation.
There’s also the matter of digital permanence.
Every post, every image, every caption — these things linger in the digital ether long after we’ve moved on.
What seems innocent or funny today could be embarrassing or invasive for her in the future.
As parents, we teach our kids about stranger danger in the physical world.
We remind them not to talk to people they don’t know or share personal details with strangers.
But what message are we sending if we’re willingly putting them on display for an audience that includes people we don’t know?
respecting her digital identity
As mentioned above, another major factor in this decision was also Little Miss A’s consent.
My daughter is too young to understand what it means to have her life shared online.
She doesn’t know what it means to be tagged, liked, or commented on.
Right now, I’m making those decisions for her.
But as she grows, she’ll want — and deserve — a say in how she’s represented digitally/online.
By choosing to limit her online presence now, I’m leaving the slate blank(ish) for her.
If she wants to step into the digital world when she’s older, that’s her decision to make.
I’ll be there to guide her, but I want her to have the freedom to shape her own identity without the baggage of choices I’ve made on her behalf.
the bigger picture
The conversation around kids and social media is evolving.
Policies like Australia’s under-16 ban are a step toward acknowledging the complexities of growing up in a digital age.
But they also raise important questions for parents:
- How much of our children’s lives should we share?
- What role do we play in shaping their online presence?
- And how can we balance connection with protection?
For me, these questions don’t have easy answers.
It’s taken time to unravel my own habits and assumptions about social media.
But in the end, it’s come down to this: I want my daughter to grow up feeling safe, respected, and empowered to make her own choices.
By stepping back from (over)sharing her life online, I hope I’m setting that foundation.
Because at the end of the day, she’s more than a photo or a caption.
She’s a person with her own story to tell — when she’s ready to tell it.
what offline looks like for us
Going “offline” doesn’t mean disappearing entirely.
We’ll still share updates with close family and friends, but we’ll do it through private channels — text messages, e-mails, and the like.
When we do post about our lives online, it’ll be more selective and intentionally vague.
A scenic family adventure without close-ups of Miss A’s face. A milestone moment shared in words rather than pictures.
This approach feels balanced.
It lets us stay connected with loved ones while prioritising our daughter’s safety and privacy.
Plus, focusing less on social media posts means being more present in the moment!
Instead of snapping photos with the intention of sharing, we’re simply enjoying the experiences for ourselves.
It actually feels refreshing!
I also want to say that this isn’t about perfection or trying to set a moral example.
As a first-time mum, I’m certainly not a perfect parent or parenting expert … I’m barely staying afloat most days 🙂
And I definitely still scroll through Instagram like everyone else.
And will probably continue posting running updates now that running is BACK ON! Ha!
But when it comes to Little Miss A, I’m trying to make decisions that align with our values and priorities.
final thought
Our decision to go mostly offline isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution.
It’s simply what works for us right now.
Maybe in a few years, our approach will change … and maybe it won’t.
But for now, we’re embracing the quiet joy of sharing life’s moments offline — one milestone, one memory at a time.
And when you do see a rare peek into our lives online, you can trust that it’s a carefully chosen window, not a wide-open door.
For us, that feels just right.
x G.
editor, journalist, digital content creator with a background in nutrition & dietetics.
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