Why is it ever necessary to comment on someone’s deeply personal situation?
Whether by choice or circumstance, this situation — especially for women of a certain age — often remains unchangeable.
It’s like commenting on someone’s appearance.
As an outsider, you might wonder why I’m so hooked on the US election drama. But with the chaos and spectacle unfolding, it’s impossible not to be captivated!
As a global observer, I can’t help but be captivated by the whirlwind of US politics and elections. With the drama splashed across news feeds, podcasts, talk shows, and social media (especially X, formerly Twitter), it’s impossible to avoid it.
The latest controversy to dominate the news cycle?
A recently resurfaced interview has caused a significant stir and received some serious backlash in the past 24 hours, with Hollywood actress Jennifer Aniston among those weighing in.
This controversy stems from the aforementioned interview in which women without children were referred to as “childless cat ladies”.
Aniston, who has been candid about her own struggles with infertility, addressed these remarks in an Instagram story, stating:
“I truly can’t believe that this is coming from a potential VP of the United States,” Aniston wrote on Instagram.
“All I can say is… Mr Vance, I pray that your daughter is fortunate enough to bear children of her own one day.
“I hope she will not need to turn to IVF as a second option because you are trying to take that away from her, too.”
if you don’t have anything nice to say …
As children, we’re often taught, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it.” However, it appears this lesson has eluded many adults, especially those in positions of power.
Commenting on whether or not someone has children is akin to commenting on their appearance — deeply personal and often, for a lot of people, beyond their control.
The journey to parenthood is often a deeply personal and emotional experience.
For many couples, the road to conception can be longer and more complicated than expected.
While some couples may conceive quite quickly, others may face unexpected difficulties.
While some women may find a partner early in life and easily start a family, for others, marriage and starting a family can be significantly more challenging.
I didn’t meet J until later in life.
I was 38 when I got married.
I was 39 when I fell pregnant and 40 when I gave birth.
After coming out of a frankly sh*tty relationship that was, in hindsight, 8 years too long, it took some time to then find my ‘Mr Right’, … to get married … to start a family.
For the longest time, I had thought the marriage and family ship had sailed for me — that I would end up on my own.
A thought that, deep down, hurt more than anything else. All the while, the running commentary was: “When will you settle down and have kids?” and “You’re not getting any younger.”
And I know many women in the same boat.
I know many women for whom that ship has, in fact, sailed — women who wish things were different.
I know many women who chose to be childfree.
I know women who chose the IVF route.
I know women who, due to various health issues and other circumstances, are unable to conceive — women who would do anything to have a child.
To outsiders these women might seem like career-hungry “cat ladies”.
But that assumption, and frankly BS opinion, couldn’t be further from the truth.
These are among the strongest, smartest, bravest women I have ever known, who contribute incredible strength and value to their communities.
So, no, it’s never OK to comment on somebody’s family status, or on anything beyond their control for that matter.
Regardless of what you think of someone’s politics … or whatever … it’s never OK to comment on something that’s often beyond their control.
And those of us who have children should know better than to do this!
As the old adage goes: “If you don’t have anything nice to say …” keep your mouth shut!
Because you never truly know what someone else is going through.
x G.
editor, journalist, digital content creator with a background in nutrition & dietetics.
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